From the audio director of Kaze: Winds of Change

Taking the Mulligan: Scene 2

Written by Tazel Sixpaws

Philip and Harmon, the albatross' best friend, have procured a 'body' from a nearby cemertery to use as proof of Philip's staged death. Right before they get to the staging area, their argument in the car makes Philip drive through a red light and swerve to avoid a stopped school bus. An officer pulls him over, and Philip believes he can talk his way out of trouble, much to his dismay.
PHILIP: Age 51, desperate to get away from his clingy wife and enjoy his remaining funds in a hedonistic single lifestyle. Egocentric, overly self-confident, and controlling.
OFFICER (2): Age 31, By the book, and in no mood for people talking back to him.
PHILIP: [WHISPERING] Harmon, just SHUT UP and let me talk! [LOUDER, TO OFFICER] Hellllooo Officer! Great day for driving! Marvelous!
OFFICER (2): License. Registration. Now.
PHILIP: Oh! Of course. And let me just say you're doing a fine job of catching REAL CRIMINALS out there every day! And not stopping INNOCENT DRIVERS!
OFFICER (2): You know why I stopped you?
PHILIP: You... wanted an autograph?
OFFICER (2): Why the hell would I have stopped you for an autograph?
PHILIP: Oh come ON officer! You don't know who I am?
OFFICER (2): According to your license, you're - Philip Templeton.
PHILIP: Yes! That's me! Philip Templeton! The PROFESSIONAL golfer?
OFFICER (2): Never heard of you.
PHILIP: Oh PLEASE! I know most people don't have the brains to appreciate golf, but surely you know the one who hit the longest drive EVER on the Par 5 at Bear Paw Creek in the FGA Open last year!
OFFICER (2): Here's what I know. Two blocks back, you ran a red light, passed a stopped school bus, almost ran over an old lady in a crosswalk, and changed lanes without signalling inside an intersection! Your license and tags are expired, and your rear left signal light is out!
PHILIP: [BEAT] That light was yellow, I swear!
OFFICER (2): Get out of the car and put your wings on the hood. Right. Now.
PHILIP: [MUTTERING] Should have just rented a donut truck, run it off a cliff and have you chase it...
OFFICER (2): WHAT WAS THAT?
PHILIP: Nothing! Nothing, officer - Dammit, Harmon, stop laughing!

Performance #428
Showtime Yoshi Rengare Wolfe
as
Philip
as
Officer (2)

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