From the creator of the Furry Basketball Association

Rats and Rainbows: Scene 2

Written by Carrizo

In order to get back to New York, the wise Mr. Owl has told Raymond he needs stones from the deepest caves. He gives Raymond a wand to protect himself, only when the rat shows up and faces a hideous monster guarding the cave entrance, he can't get the wand to do anything. Barely escaping with his life, the rat barges into Mr. Owl's tree, demanding an explanation.
MR.OWL: A stereotypically old, wise owl, speaking slowly and musically, ever enchanted by the world around him. Has a very saccharin mind without any ill thoughts, but isn't fully opposed to considering them.
RAYMOND: New York tough guy, loves to talk a big game. Nowhere near as tough as he lets on. Shell himself against a world that's beaten him down a lot. Talking with friendly cartoon characters is weird for him.
MR.OWL: Ah, I think I see the problem, Raymond. You haven’t yet learned to control magic.
RAYMOND: Oh, no way? You serious? Hey, crazy idea. How about next time you send me to get chased by a shark-gopher with a recipe for orange rat, you give me the damn instructions to your little twig here? That getting through your swivel-mounted head, bird brain?
MR.OWL: Magic isn’t a machine with a manual, my dear Raymond. Magic comes from inspiration. From within. It comes from our hearts.
RAYMOND: Yeah, blood goes through mine. The shark-gopher wanted to check.
MR.OWL: Now don’t be upset about any of this. Show me the wand, and I’ll be happy to show you how to fill it with magic.
RAYMOND: Great. Great, what do I do?
MR.OWL: Hold up the wand. Like so.
MR.OWL: Now close your eyes.
RAYMOND: Don’t get weird. My sister told me to do that once. Didn’t end well.
MR.OWL: Now, concentrate. Think about what you value most. The things that fill your heart with cheer.
RAYMOND: Cheer, huh?
MR.OWL: What is it, Raymond, that drives you? That gives you happiness, that makes your spirit sing?
RAYMOND: You’re serious.
MR.OWL: Imagine it, Raymond. Hold it in your head. And tell me, my good rat, what is it that inspires you most?
MR.OWL: I’m sorry?
RAYMOND: Tits. Jugs. Gazongas. Hey, you see a girl with a banging rack of love apples, dude, that’s like inspiration freebased.
MR.OWL: Really?
RAYMOND: Mostly in my pants.
MR.OWL: Well. Then, uh, let us concentrate on these — mammaries and see what magic it brings forth.
RAYMOND: Yeah, a lot more than magic.
MR.OWL: Pardon?
RAYMOND: Nothing. Nothing. Let’s do this.

Performance #537
Farallon Tym Greene

Performance #545
Neko the Suitmaster Kitler


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