From the audio director of Kaze: Winds of Change

The Un-Wise Guys: Scene 1

Written by Tazel Sixpaws

After getting chewed out by a lieutenant in the mafia for bringing stale lasagna to the gang meeting, the two are sent out on a drive by hit, the target unknown until they open an envelope presumably assigned to them. As they argue, they realize they took another duo's assignment by mistake, and the intended targets make the two very nervous.
TONY: Early Twenties. Hothead, quick to anger. Is always in the driver seat, but his driving is terrible because of him constantly being distracted. Thinks Vinny is an idiot. Most of his barbs are verbal.
VINNY: Mid Twenties. Also hothead and quick to anger. His retaliations tend to be more physical, given his imposing size. Always mans the machine gun, though his aim is terrible.
TONY: Yeesh, how much garlic was IN that meatball hoagie, Vinny? I could smell ya from the Loop! An' you could use a salad anyhow!
VINNY: What are you, my mother? I gotta pack on for the winter! Hibernating n' all.
TONY: You been packin' on ever since I KNOWN ya! You got enough gut to get you through THREE winters!
VINNY: Shaddup, string bean! Jus' cause you're a twitchy rodent don't mean I gotta follow suit!
TONY: I'm a mustelid, ya idiot! An' you're just jealous I can fit in maintenance tunnels when we gotta case a bank!
VINNY: They're called sewers, Tony. Fittin' place for a rat.
TONY: FERRET.
VINNY: Whatever. Look, let's just get this hit over n' done with.
TONY: Fine by me, grizzly.
SFX: [ENVELOPE RIP, PAPER SHUFFLING]
VINNY: Oh. Oh Tony. This ain't good.
TONY: What's wrong?
VINNY: The targets for this hit - they're US! These're OUR names on the sheet!
TONY: WHAT? Lemme see that!
SFX: [TIRES SCREECHING AS CAR SWERVES]
VINNY: TONY! JESUS! PULL OVER!!
TONY: Keep yer fur on, my tail's on the wheel!
VINNY: Yeah but your EYES ain't on the ROAD!
TONY: Holy cannoli! You ain't joking! This must've been the packet for one of th' OTHER guys! They was gonna ice us!
VINNY: Well, least they dunno we were supposed to be the ones gettin' iced! We gotta play this smart.
TONY: Yeah! Smart! So, what, we go back and beg for our lives?
VINNY: Tony, you MORON! Dat's gonna get us iced QUICKER! 'Sides, do I look like the beggin' type to you?!
TONY: Yeah, you do! 'Specially for tiramsus at Luigi's!
VINNY: If you wasn't drivin, ya weasel, I'd punch yer lights out! C'mon, we gotta go back an' find out who put out the contract on us! [BEAT] Whaddya waiting for, an invitation? PUNCH IT!
SFX: [CAR ACCELERATING]

Performance #435
T'niro Tanuki Endymion Nolehr
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Tony
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Vinny

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Tony
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Vinny

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Tony
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Vinny

Performance #468
Xaq DavidN
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Tony
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Vinny

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Wolfe_Guardian Forest Boar
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Tony
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Vinny

Performance #506
Cassidy the Civet Vedrit
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Tony
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Vinny

Performance #513
Nimbie Tiger Pillow
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Tony
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Vinny

Performance #532
GeoHolms Isaiah Rockester
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Tony
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Vinny

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