From the creator of the Furry Basketball Association

World On Its Side: Scene 2

Written by Carrizo

Partially contractual obligations but mostly on rabbit android Warren's insistence, Mo is pressed into donning his spacesuit and exploring the recently discovered floating remains of an apparently alien starship. Even though scans indicate the ship is abandoned, the beaver is reluctant to be the first Earthling to set foot on an alien vessel. But even if he'd rather hide behind the planet's shadow and forget this discovery, he finds himself fulfilling his contract and exploring the ship.
MO: As lazy as a rodent can get, this plump bachelor likes nothing better than his private time. Taking a trip around Uranus is about as private as it gets.
WARREN: Efficient and attractive at the same time, this android was built to be both practical and pleasurable. Capable of humor and nuance, but generally prefers to be efficient, particularly when serious work is needed.
MO: Ow! Hey, Warren, do me a favor and scan up around my head, eh? You know, where your ears would be?
WARREN: There's no way you felt that inside your suit, Mo.
MO: So you know, I'm feeling a lot of things inside this suit right now. Ugh, and why does it smell like twenty-year-old poutine in this thing?
WARREN: Because you were supposed to clean it every eight cycles.
MO: Oh, beauty. So that's what that warning was for. Tell me we're almost done here.
WARREN: Almost. Straight ahead there's a hatch leading to the largest room in the vessel.
MO: Is it the deck?
WARREN: That sounds like a reasonable assumption.
MO: So I open the hatch, peek inside, and we're done, eh?
WARREN: I need a scan of the room.
MO: Quick scan.
WARREN: Full scan.
MO: Half scan?
WARREN: Full scan.
MO: Okay. Okay. Jeez. Full scan. Hold on. [EFFORTS OPENING HATCH] That was heavy!
WARREN: It's weightless in there.
MO: Tell that to my shoulders! [EFFORT] There. Oh, wow. Well, will you look at that.
WARREN: What? What do you see?
MO: It's breath-taking. It's just— just— just as empty as every other centimeter of this floating trash bin.
WARREN: Scan it anyway.
MO: Oh, sure! Why not! Two point seven billion clicks from home, should take some photos back with us. Sure beats being warm and safe on our ship, eh?
WARREN: You have a contract to fulfill, Mo.
MO: Oh, I was starting to forget. Thank you for the reminder.
WARREN: This machine has a contract to fulfill, too. I said a full scan, Mo.
MO: I'm setting it up right now! I'm being a busy beaver, you keener.
WARREN: You're still on the deck?
MO: Not willingly. If that's permission to get my tail back to the pod, you don't need to tell me twice.
WARREN: [PAUSE] Something's already in the pod.
MO: [LONG PAUSE] Oh, that's not good.

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