Deep Roast

Scene 1

Furry Fiesta | 2015

Tiger Pillow

Braugh

Zeus Gamo

Joe

Deep Roast Scene 1

Written by Carrizo

Deep Roast

Scene 1

Written by Carrizo

Archived at Furrywood.com

Artwork by Pac

Project Premise

Comedy

When a struggling rat from Long Island gets word that his Puget Sound uncle has passed away, he finds himself inheriting a local coffee house in a wealthy suburb of Seattle. Encouraged by his mob connections to rake in that high tech cash, he tries managing the shop, but finds his New York style doesn’t always fit with Washington coffee culture.

                                                        Braugh                                                    

                                                        My usual. It should have been ready by now. Wait. Hold on. Who are you?                                                    

                                                        Joe                                                    

                                                        Excuse me?                                                    

                                                        Braugh                                                    

                                                        You're new. Wait, tell me you're a weasel.                                                    

                                                        Joe                                                    

                                                        What?                                                    

                                                        Braugh                                                    

                                                        A ferret?                                                    

                                                        Joe                                                    

                                                        I'm a palm civet, sir.                                                    

                                                        Braugh                                                    

                                                        Oh my God. Look, this isn't going to work. Could you get the manager, please?                                                    

                                                        Joe                                                    

                                                        You haven't even ordered yet.                                                    

                                                        Braugh                                                    

                                                        Yeah, well, there's a reason. Look, I need the manager right away!                                                    

                                                        Joe                                                    

                                                        Sir, I don't mean to be rude, but what the hell is your problem?                                                    

                                                        Braugh                                                    

                                                        My problem is my coffee shop just replaced my usual barista with a palm civet.                                                    

                                                        Joe                                                    

                                                        So?                                                    

                                                        Braugh                                                    

                                                        So there are implications that need to be addressed before I can order. Can someone please get me the manager?                                                    

                                                        Joe                                                    

                                                        Sir, I did not shit your coffee!                                                    

                                                        Braugh                                                    

                                                        Yeah? Well, how do I know that?                                                    

                                                        Joe                                                    

                                                        Because if I did, it'd be the best Goddamned cup you ever drank.                                                    

                                                        Braugh                                                    

                                                        [PAUSE] That good?                                                    

                                                        Joe                                                    

                                                        Fucking ambrosia.                                                    

                                                        Braugh                                                    

                                                        [PAUSE] Catnip latte. Make it a double.

A Sow's Ear

Scene 1

Furry Fiesta | 2015

Keris

Brooke

Ed Osoliz

Richmond

A Sow's Ear Scene 1

Written by Carrizo

A Sow's Ear

Scene 1

Written by Carrizo

Archived at Furrywood.com

Artwork by Pac

Project Premise

Wall Street Drama

Brooke grew up in the grinding poverty many ferals endure in a domestic-biased society, but the wolf fought his way to an MBA and a job as a loan officer in one of the nation's biggest banks. Richmond is from a long line of powerful horses in the financial sector, more interested in protecting an upcoming merger than social work.

                                                        Brooke                                                    

                                                        We need to talk.                                                    

                                                        Richmond                                                    

                                                        It can wait.                                                    

                                                        Brooke                                                    

                                                        I just spoke with Taylor down in finance. Why didn't you sign the Farrell loan?                                                    

                                                        Richmond                                                    

                                                        Really?                                                    

                                                        Brooke                                                    

                                                        They met every requirement. I vetted them down to every line of our policy.                                                    

                                                        Richmond                                                    

                                                        Well, then. I must have found an issue outside of our policy.                                                    

                                                        Brooke                                                    

                                                        It's because they're coyotes. Isn't it?                                                    

                                                        Richmond                                                    

                                                        Look here, Brooke.                                                    

                                                        Brooke                                                    

                                                        I'm sick of this high-and-mighty, domesticated bullshit, Richmond. They deserved that loan.                                                    

                                                        Richmond                                                    

                                                        No, I said look here. What do you see?                                                    

                                                        Brooke                                                    

                                                        A fucking speciest horse.                                                    

                                                        Richmond                                                    

                                                        On my head, yellow-eyes.                                                    

                                                        Brooke                                                    

                                                        What? What are you getting at? That white patch?                                                    

                                                        Richmond                                                    

                                                        It's not a white patch, Brooke. It's my halo.                                                    

                                                        Brooke                                                    

                                                        Christ, you're worse than I thought.                                                    

                                                        Richmond                                                    

                                                        You ever notice how only domestics have these? How every time a furry manages to graduate from his feral savageries, a splash of white appears on their heads? It's nature's halo.                                                    

                                                        Brooke                                                    

                                                        What does that have to do with anything?                                                    

                                                        Richmond                                                    

                                                        It's why I didn't sign the Farrell loan. How can we trust our money with anyone who doesn't have a halo?

The Werehuman

Scene 1

Furry Fiesta | 2015

Fraiva

Turnbull

Ianus J. Wolf

Gandy

The Werehuman Scene 1

Written by Tazel Sixpaws

The Werehuman

Scene 1

Written by Tazel Sixpaws

Archived at Furrywood.com

Artwork by Pac

Project Premise

B-Movie Horror

In the Mississippi Town of Padukah, local skunk sheriff Charles Gandy is plagued by mysterious sightings of a pink monster and the inexplicable disappearance of townfolk. A rash of attacks under a new moon indicate something more terrifying and a lot less furry.

Scene Description

In this scene, Charles and Betsie investigate the most recent reports of a 'pink monster' around the home of the wolverine miller Frank Gilberry, when something awful happens.

                                                        Turnbull                                                    

                                                        I'm tellin' ya, Charles, it ain't right! Somethin' unholy's comin' from this here Gilberry Shack! I feel it in my udders!                                                    

                                                        Gandy                                                    

                                                        Now, Betsie, there ain't no need to get all flustered. Our wolverine's just been under the weather as of late.                                                    

                                                        Turnbull                                                    

                                                        Can't you just go in n' arrest him, put him in protective custody or somethin'? For his sake? For ALL our sakes?                                                    

                                                        Gandy                                                    

                                                        You KNOW that ain't right, girl! Frank ain't done anythin' wrong.                                                    

                                                        Turnbull                                                    

                                                        How can a skunk be so yelluh? What happened to 'Servin' and Protect... wait... you hear somethin'?                                                    

                                                        Gandy                                                    

                                                        [BEAT] Jus' the night wind rustlin' the trees, darlin'.                                                    

                                                        Turnbull                                                    

                                                        No, listen! Someone's moanin'... S'close... Charles, let's get outta here. I got a bad feelin'.                                                    

                                                        Gandy                                                    

                                                        Alright, get back into the patrol car an'... Oh my God, what the hell is THAT?                                                    

                                                        Turnbull                                                    

                                                        CHARLES! Get in the car, damn ya! It's comin' this way!                                                    

                                                        Gandy                                                    

                                                        ...Pink'n Hairless... no muzzle...no TAIL...th' ugliest thing I've ever seen! Hey... HEY! STOP RIGHT THERE OR I'LL SHOOT! NO! GET OFF! AAIAIIGHHH! BETSIE! RUN!!                                                    

                                                        Turnbull                                                    

                                                        CHARLES!!!

The Shinies

Scene 1

Furry Fiesta | 2015

Pumperbear

Oliver

JHuskyStar

Ricky

The Shinies Scene 1

Written by Carrizo

The Shinies

Scene 1

Written by Carrizo

Archived at Furrywood.com

Artwork by Pac

Project Premise

Comedy

Against the pleas of their sole ring-tailed board member, a gemstone conglomerate opens their newest store in a city with a large raccoon population. But soon they understand the worries of that board member, when the locals discover a store full of “shinies”. In this scene, Oliver has been watching Ricky go back and forth staring inside from the sidewalk.

                                                        Oliver                                                    

                                                        Welcome. Finally.                                                    

                                                        Ricky                                                    

                                                        Hi, I was just outside looking at—                                                    

                                                        Oliver                                                    

                                                        Yes, I saw you lurking out there.                                                    

                                                        Ricky                                                    

                                                        That diamond is really, really beautiful.                                                    

                                                        Oliver                                                    

                                                        34 carat. Largest in the state. Thank you for coming in.                                                    

                                                        Ricky                                                    

                                                        Whoa! Oh, wow! You've got some really pretty things here, too!                                                    

                                                        Oliver                                                    

                                                        Thank you. We specialize in pretty things.                                                    

                                                        Ricky                                                    

                                                        You've got everything in here! Oh, what's that green one?                                                    

                                                        Oliver                                                    

                                                        The emerald?                                                    

                                                        Ricky                                                    

                                                        No, the green one.                                                    

                                                        Oliver                                                    

                                                        It's a 20 carat emerald, imported from Bogotá. Care to touch it?                                                    

                                                        Ricky                                                    

                                                        Can I?                                                    

                                                        Oliver                                                    

                                                        No.                                                    

                                                        Ricky                                                    

                                                        How about that blue one?                                                    

                                                        Oliver                                                    

                                                        That sapphire is on sale now.                                                    

                                                        Ricky                                                    

                                                        It's really shiny. How much?                                                    

                                                        Oliver                                                    

                                                        Three grand.                                                    

                                                        Ricky                                                    

                                                        That much?                                                    

                                                        Oliver                                                    

                                                        Before mounting.                                                    

                                                        Ricky                                                    

                                                        I don't like it that much.                                                    

                                                        Oliver                                                    

                                                        Oh, God. Are you actually going to buy anything?                                                    

                                                        Ricky                                                    

                                                        I don't have any money.                                                    

                                                        Oliver                                                    

                                                        Then get out!

Turn the Other Sheep

Scene 1

Furry Fiesta | 2015

Stevie Maxwell

Miles

Skritch

Grady

Turn the Other Sheep Scene 1

Written by Tazel Sixpaws

Turn the Other Sheep

Scene 1

Written by Tazel Sixpaws

Archived at Furrywood.com

Artwork by Pac

Project Premise

Comedy

Miles Plebus is one of a large herd of sheep field workers, overseen by border collies. While his coworkers are content to be micromanaged by control freak managers, Miles feels he can do better. With the only border collie he can trust, Grady Folson, the two hatch a plan to make a religious “cult” of sheep independence and fight for better working conditions. The problem with sheep though, is that when everyone wants to follow, making for some chaotic yet successful coups.

                                                        Miles                                                    

                                                        If I have to fill out one more F-101 form on grass-chewing instructions, I'm going to go NUTS, Grady! It's GOT to stop!                                                    

                                                        Grady                                                    

                                                        Hell, no argument from me, pally. I hate those forms so much, I do my business on them!                                                    

                                                        Miles                                                    

                                                        You mean—?                                                    

                                                        Grady                                                    

                                                        Being Housebroken is a border collie hiring requirement. They jus' didn't say what papers t'use.                                                    

                                                        Miles                                                    

                                                        [LAUGHS] You. Are awesome. And I need your help.                                                    

                                                        Grady                                                    

                                                        Wha' for?                                                    

                                                        Miles                                                    

                                                        Mr. Corralle. I'm going to knock him down a peg by claiming his management style is infringing on religious rights!                                                    

                                                        Grady                                                    

                                                        Whoa, wait a sec! What religion?                                                    

                                                        Grady                                                    

                                                        Y'think they're gonna join up?                                                    

                                                        Miles                                                    

                                                        Grady. They agreed to Corralle's request to hold bake sales, and give their money to him so he could fund his pup's birthday party.                                                    

                                                        Grady                                                    

                                                        Yeowch. That's not right, pally. Not right a' all.                                                    

                                                        Miles                                                    

                                                        Eh, I'm not worried. It didn't make that much money. Sheep aren't known for baking, especially when we have no recipes to follow.

Swamphoof

Scene 2

Furry Fiesta | 2015

Kevin

Runson

Saria

Colette

Swamphoof Scene 2

Written by Carrizo

Swamphoof

Scene 2

Written by Carrizo

Archived at Furrywood.com

Artwork by Pac

Project Premise

Dramatic Thriller

The dams may have given the city its water supply, but it also flooded the farms, turning good fields into worthless swamp. Of course, the city hoofers never did care much for the country, leaving the now out-of-work horses, donkeys and cattle to fend for themselves. While most just made the best of it, one donkey's ambition led him to stealing goods from the city, a major crime that made him a lot of enemies. But also the loyalty of Colette, his mare girlfriend, who hid him in the swamp after his bold escape from jail. Now with the swamp sheriff smelling an opportunity at some fat reward money, it's a fight to hide the longear as long as she can.

                                                        Runson                                                    

                                                        Miss Colette. Real nice to see you.                                                    

                                                        Colette                                                    

                                                        Runson, how you been?                                                    

                                                        Runson                                                    

                                                        Getting better, I reckon. What brings you by?                                                    

                                                        Colette                                                    

                                                        Well, I was wondering if you might lend me a hoof.                                                    

                                                        Runson                                                    

                                                        Of course, Miss! What you need?                                                    

                                                        Colette                                                    

                                                        Now I hear tell the sheriff comes in every morning for his coffee. That right?                                                    

                                                        Runson                                                    

                                                        He sure do, Miss. Pour it for him myself.                                                    

                                                        Colette                                                    

                                                        Well, ain't that perfect. Got a little something I'd like you to add to tomorrow's cup.                                                    

                                                        Runson                                                    

                                                        You mean without him knowing?                                                    

                                                        Colette                                                    

                                                        I don't care what no one says, you're smart as a whip, Runson, you know that?                                                    

                                                        Runson                                                    

                                                        I don't want to get in no trouble, Miss.                                                    

                                                        Colette                                                    

                                                        You won't, hon. [PAUSE] Oh, look at those eyes. You got the biggest heart in the swamp, Runson, you know that?                                                    

                                                        Runson                                                    

                                                        Thank you, Miss.                                                    

                                                        Colette                                                    

                                                        You don't get much attention, do you? Such a shame, handsome mule like yourself. Got a lot to offer a mare, don't you?                                                    

                                                        Runson                                                    

                                                        Yes, Miss. Well, not everything.                                                    

                                                        Colette                                                    

                                                        I'll make you a deal, Runson. Got a friend the next town over would just love to meet a big, strong mule like you. You slip this into sheriff's drink, I'll make sure she comes by.                                                    

                                                        Runson                                                    

                                                        She pretty, Miss?                                                    

                                                        Colette                                                    

                                                        As pretty as you can dream, hon.

Dialogues

Showing 241-246 of 554 dialogue recordings

Deep Roast

A Sow's Ear

The Werehuman

The Shinies

Turn the Other Sheep

Swamphoof