Eric
What are you even doing here?
Mom
She's not looking this way, is she? Listen, if we're quiet we might be able to slip out through the kitchen. There's an exit in the back.
Eric
We're having dinner, mom. And why do you know that?
Mom
We'll need a distraction. I flirted with the greeter a little bit, he might help us.
Mom
She doesn't know where you live, does she? We'll need to lay low for a while.
Eric
Mom, we've been dating for two months. Of course she knows where I live.
Mom
What? Honey, dearest, please don't tell me she's been inside. I don't know if I have that much Pine-Sol.
Eric
Mom, stop it! I'm not leaving. I'm going back to the table and I'm finishing dinner with Debra. Now just go home and stop making a scene.
Mom
Don't you dare, Eric! I'm not about to let my boy be taken in by some striped harlot!
Eric
Why's that badger looking at us?
Mom
Him? Which side is he seeing me from?
SFX
[ERIC WALKS AWAY BRISKLY]