Enoch the Eunuch

Scene 1

Rocky Mountain Fur Con | 2015

Squic

Rod

Khord Kitty

Enoch

Enoch the Eunuch Scene 1

Written by Carrizo

Enoch the Eunuch

Scene 1

Written by Carrizo

Archived at Furrywood.com

Project Premise

Screwball Comedy

In a bizarre legal case, Enoch's minor infraction activated an undiscovered city law that required his castration. And with elections coming up, the incumbent city attorney sticks to his policy of unquestioned obedience to the law. But when a friendly doctor freezes the tissue and assures he can reattach it, Enoch begins a quest to find a loophole forcing the judicial system to give him back what's rightfully his--his balls.

Scene Description

Early in his efforts to get his balls back, Enoch figures that getting a lot of publicity for his unfortunate situation may help convince city voters to overturn the law. When the usual avenues for quick fame fizzle out, he turns to something bigger, getting a spot on a popular game show. But to make sure his name spreads as far as possible, he decides to make sure he's unlike any contestant they've ever had.

                                                        Rod                                                    

                                                        Welcome to the power round, Enoch! We've got one million dollars to give away tonight. Before we get started, what are your plans if you win?                                                    

                                                        Enoch                                                    

                                                        Getting my balls back.                                                    

                                                        Rod                                                    

                                                        You mean like, a baseball collection or something?                                                    

                                                        Enoch                                                    

                                                        No. Testicles.                                                    

                                                        Rod                                                    

                                                        This is a family show.                                                    

                                                        Enoch                                                    

                                                        How would I know that?                                                    

                                                        Rod                                                    

                                                        All right! We've surveyed one hundred furries, and if you can give us their most popular answers, we'll give you a chance to win one million dollars. Are you ready, Enoch?                                                    

                                                        Enoch                                                    

                                                        I sure am, Rod!                                                    

                                                        Rod                                                    

                                                        All right! First question, name a ferocious predator.                                                    

                                                        Crowd                                                    

                                                        [CALLING OUT VARIOUS PREDATORS]                                                    

                                                        Enoch                                                    

                                                        Rabbit.                                                    

                                                        Crowd                                                    

                                                        [STUNNED]                                                    

                                                        Rod                                                    

                                                        A rabid what?                                                    

                                                        Enoch                                                    

                                                        No, rabbit. Final answer, Rod.                                                    

                                                        Rod                                                    

                                                        [LONG PAUSE] Okay, this one should be easier. Name any kind of canine.                                                    

                                                        Crowd                                                    

                                                        [CALLING OUT VARIOUS CANINES]                                                    

                                                        Enoch                                                    

                                                        Hyena.                                                    

                                                        Crowd                                                    

                                                        [STUNNED]                                                    

                                                        Rod                                                    

                                                        I think that got negative votes, Enoch.

The Tale of Sir Render

Scene 1

Rocky Mountain Fur Con | 2015

Silver Snowie

Tencapp

Klandaghi

Render

The Tale of Sir Render Scene 1

Written by Tazel Sixpaws

The Tale of Sir Render

Scene 1

Written by Tazel Sixpaws

Archived at Furrywood.com

Project Premise

Fantasy Comedy

Gather ye around, and let me spin the tale of the Mighty Sir Render, the boar knight who singlehandedly ran away from every battle he ever faced, at whom cowards scoff and birds excrement upon! And tell also the tale of the fair Maiden Tiewahn, the exotic red panda princess whose hand in marriage he so desired, but could only attain if he proved his courage! It is a short story, alas...

Scene Description

Sir Render is approaching the captain of the city guard to apply for the bounty to slay a nearby beast who is ravaging the town livestock, in hopes of winning the confidence of the princess. The captain is not impressed and suggests an easier task for the known coward.

                                                        Render                                                    

                                                        Captain Tencapp! I'm here to apply to slay the livestock menace!                                                    

                                                        Tencapp                                                    

                                                        Oh, Render, that's the best laugh I've had all day! No, seriously, why are you wasting my time?                                                    

                                                        Render                                                    

                                                        I am as serious as an angry chicken, my good badger! I WILL defeat it!                                                    

                                                        Tencapp                                                    

                                                        Render, why would you want something so dangerous, when there are needs more relevant to your `skillset'? Like fighting silkworms?                                                    

                                                        Render                                                    

                                                        Because I am going to win the heart of the princess! And no better way than to slay the beast causing our farms such distress! Even though cows terrify me!                                                    

                                                        Tencapp                                                    

                                                        By Duke Faldar's unwashed beard, I believe you ARE serious! One seriously deluded boar!! Bring back some silkworms and we'll talk, if you don't run away screaming first!                                                    

                                                        Render                                                    

                                                        Sir! This is unjust! The law says ANYONE can apply! I have as much right as you do to try!                                                    

                                                        Tencapp                                                    

                                                        Grr! Fine. Go ahead. Get your fool head crushed under the beast's jaws. See if I care! Anything ELSE?                                                    

                                                        Render                                                    

                                                        Actually, yes. The beggar children have been throwing rocks at me and laughing at me again. I wish to lodge another complaint.                                                    

                                                        Tencapp                                                    

                                                        Well, the tenth one IS a freebie.

The Blur Effect

Scene 2

Rocky Mountain Fur Con | 2015

Hammond

HipHop

Mr. Otter

Rumble

The Blur Effect Scene 2

Written by Tazel Sixpaws

The Blur Effect

Scene 2

Written by Tazel Sixpaws

Archived at Furrywood.com

Artwork by Pac

Project Premise

Superhero Film

Gary Halloworth, aka ‘Blur', is a superpowered speedy cheetah from a long line of family heroes, but the untimely loss of his parents early in his life and his inexperience has caused him to lose more battles for good than he's won. Teamed up with the fellow heroes of the Freedom Force, he's desperate to prove himself to everyone. When Volgas, the evil mindbender sloth, begins a plot to control people through their electronics, Blur finds himself relying on others out of necessity to save the day.

                                                        HipHop                                                    

                                                        Yo, Rum, got a sec?                                                    

                                                        Rumble                                                    

                                                        Of course, Hiphop. What is it?                                                    

                                                        HipHop                                                    

                                                        Why the hell we keepin' Gary around, man? He ain't done nothin' but screw up lately!                                                    

                                                        Rumble                                                    

                                                        I should have guessed. He's new and he's eager. He'll come around once he gets some experience.                                                    

                                                        HipHop                                                    

                                                        You're trippin' if you think I'm gonna clean up his shit anymore! I ain't got no time to rescue him again and again! I got criminals to blast!                                                    

                                                        Rumble                                                    

                                                        It's not your decision. We all agreed when we formed Freedom Force that we'd take on mentoring jobs for new recruits, and you're his mentor.                                                    

                                                        HipHop                                                    

                                                        He's out there talkin' about how "He an' the Freedom Force" saved the day with Volgas! All he did was get sand in his spandex!                                                    

                                                        Rumble                                                    

                                                        If Volgas hadn't spent that time on him, he would have noticed you, me and Valkyrie flanking his position. I'd say Blur's distraction served us well.                                                    

                                                        HipHop                                                    

                                                        Yeah, well, he better start shuttin' his muzz on it, tho. Tired of listenin' to him yap!                                                    

                                                        HipHop                                                    

                                                        Man, why you gotta bring up that shit?!                                                    

                                                        Rumble                                                    

                                                        Because Gary deserves second chances too, just like you.

The Fourteeners

Scene 2

Rocky Mountain Fur Con | 2015

Cartel Saide

Arthur

Apple Woods

Arty

The Fourteeners Scene 2

Written by Carrizo

The Fourteeners

Scene 2

Written by Carrizo

Archived at Furrywood.com

Project Premise

Mystery Comedy

Questions without answers are forming in the snow-capped mountains of the Colorado Rockies when a lonely tavern becomes the site of a shocking murder. As the only outsider to the frozen town, a cat from the West tries to unravel the mystery, slowly uncovering the secrets behind those in charge of the inn.

Scene Description

In this flashback, the cat learns the origins of the tavern's hybrid waitress and the conversation that happened decades ago.

                                                        Arthur                                                    

                                                        Pete's sake, Arty, this had better be important. The council must think we're crazy by now.                                                    

                                                        Arty                                                    

                                                        Dad, I'm sorry, I just think, I really think we should schedule this meeting somewhere else.                                                    

                                                        Arthur                                                    

                                                        What? Whatever for?                                                    

                                                        Arty                                                    

                                                        It doesn't look right, us wolves meeting someplace owned by a fox. We should go someplace run by a pack member.                                                    

                                                        Arthur                                                    

                                                        Arty! What in the world has gotten into you? Valerie has given us the finest tavern in town, everyone loves it here. No one cares about her being a fox. Why would you even say that?                                                    

                                                        Arty                                                    

                                                        I'm just trying to think about the future, dad. You know, keeping up appearances, being pro- pack, pro-lupine, keeping the wolves together.                                                    

                                                        Arthur                                                    

                                                        Arty! What is this about?                                                    

                                                        Arty                                                    

                                                        [LONG PAUSE] Valerie's pregnant.                                                    

                                                        Arthur                                                    

                                                        What? Why, that's wonderful! Why hasn't she told anyone? [LONG PAUSE] You're the next alpha.                                                    

                                                        Arty                                                    

                                                        It was an accident, dad.                                                    

                                                        Arthur                                                    

                                                        You're the next alpha.                                                    

                                                        Arty                                                    

                                                        She was flirting with me! You know how she does!                                                    

                                                        Arthur                                                    

                                                        You are the next alpha!                                                    

                                                        Arty                                                    

                                                        I screwed up, dad, I know! I screwed up. But just this once, let me own this mistake! It's my bloodline that's getting ruined.                                                    

                                                        Arthur                                                    

                                                        Your blood is my blood!                                                    

                                                        Arty                                                    

                                                        Then what can I tell them, dad?                                                    

                                                        Arthur                                                    

                                                        [PAUSE] The truth.

Into the Pipes

Scene 1

Rocky Mountain Fur Con | 2015

Rin

Schultz

Xaloshi

Craft

Into the Pipes Scene 1

Written by Carrizo

Into the Pipes

Scene 1

Written by Carrizo

Archived at Furrywood.com

Artwork by JHarper

Project Premise

Drama

At one time this was a dog's city, but the rats organized themselves in the sewers, biding their time, slowly chipping away at the power structures above. Now the rats have taken over, running everything above and below ground, forcing the dogs into a leashed subclass with no hope to regain their freedoms. That is until one terrier steals a map to the sewers and plans an attack to retake the city.

                                                        Schultz                                                    

                                                        Moment. Moment.                                                    

                                                        SFX                                                    

                                                        [UNZIPPING PANTS AND PEEING]                                                    

                                                        Schultz                                                    

                                                        Ahhh. Don't worry, I'm not marking anything. It's just piss.                                                    

                                                        Craft                                                    

                                                        It should be more.                                                    

                                                        Schultz                                                    

                                                        Hmph. So, what's all this then? You didn't invite me out here just to get drunk, did you?                                                    

                                                        Craft                                                    

                                                        No. [PAUSE] I want to go into the pipes.                                                    

                                                        Schultz                                                    

                                                        [PAUSE] No one goes into the pipes.                                                    

                                                        Craft                                                    

                                                        Exactly. They come up to strike and hide when anyone pushes back, safe inside their sewer.                                                    

                                                        Schultz                                                    

                                                        Klar. You didn't need four pints to figure that out.                                                    

                                                        Craft                                                    

                                                        If we took the fight to them, it would change.                                                    

                                                        Schultz                                                    

                                                        It's too dangerous.                                                    

                                                        Craft                                                    

                                                        You were down there before.                                                    

                                                        Schultz                                                    

                                                        That was a long time ago.                                                    

                                                        Craft                                                    

                                                        You know how to fight in those tunnels.                                                    

                                                        Schultz                                                    

                                                        We lost over a hundred dogs down there. We weren't ready. No one can be ready. No one knows how to get through those mazes.                                                    

                                                        Craft                                                    

                                                        I've got a map.                                                    

                                                        Schultz                                                    

                                                        Was? How?                                                    

                                                        Craft                                                    

                                                        I'm gathering a team. We got to be quick, before the rats figure out what I've got. But I need your help. That's what I brought you out for.                                                    

                                                        Schultz                                                    

                                                        You're serious. This is crazy.                                                    

                                                        Craft                                                    

                                                        Maybe. But what would you give for that puddle to once again be more than just piss?

Top Dog

Scene 2

Rocky Mountain Fur Con | 2015

Sammy Fox

Princess

Monster

Foo-Foo

Top Dog Scene 2

Written by Carrizo

Top Dog

Scene 2

Written by Carrizo

Archived at Furrywood.com

Project Premise

Comedy

Foo-Foo was the top supermodel in the furry world throughout the 80's. Now retired, she's turned her millions into billions with a series of brilliant investments and an aggressive entry into finances and manufacturing. But will she be able to overcome the view of her as a ditzy model as she makes a run for her biggest corporate takeover yet?

Scene Description

Foo-Foo is determined to take ownership of Princess' stock holdings, many of which are tied to the saluki's position in the company. So when Princess seeks investors to help secure her executive post, that just won't do. When she learns the saluki is hosting a ball at the city's most elegant venue to help attract money from the county's wealthiest domestics, she hatches a plan to arrive uninvited with an intolerable guest. At the opening of the scene, Foo-Foo has just strolled through the front doors. Suspecting she would arrive, Princess rushes her, immediately getting between Foo-Foo and the guests before she can speak to them, totally not noticing the hyena slipping in behind her.

                                                        Princess                                                    

                                                        Foo-Foo. What a surprise.                                                    

                                                        Foo-Foo                                                    

                                                        Princess. Well, I hadn't planned on coming.                                                    

                                                        Princess                                                    

                                                        Good. I hadn't invited you.                                                    

                                                        Foo-Foo                                                    

                                                        But when I heard about your new investors, well, I had to come congratulate you.                                                    

                                                        Princess                                                    

                                                        They haven't invested yet.                                                    

                                                        Foo-Foo                                                    

                                                        I like to be early.                                                    

                                                        Princess                                                    

                                                        This party is for the investors, Foo-Foo.                                                    

                                                        Foo-Foo                                                    

                                                        Oh, I get to meet them. Even better.                                                    

                                                        Princess                                                    

                                                        You stay away, you miniature Samoyed. I know what you're trying to do. Once those investments are secured, you can be certain, our stock will be so high, you'll be lucky if we don't end up buying your holdings by decade's end.                                                    

                                                        Foo-Foo                                                    

                                                        Princess, I am appalled.                                                    

                                                        Princess                                                    

                                                        Don't think for a moment you're the only one eyeing a takeover, Foo-Foo.                                                    

                                                        Foo-Foo                                                    

                                                        No, not that. "Miniature Samoyed"? Really, that's hitting below the belt. You're lucky my escort isn't here. He'd be furious.                                                    

                                                        Princess                                                    

                                                        You brought an escort?                                                    

                                                        Foo-Foo                                                    

                                                        By the dessert table, speaking with whom I believe is one of your investors.                                                    

                                                        Princess                                                    

                                                        A Dalmatian mix?                                                    

                                                        Foo-Foo                                                    

                                                        Oh, Princess. You are just unreasonable with these insults. [PAUSE] Hyena.                                                    

                                                        Princess                                                    

                                                        You fucking bitch.                                                    

                                                        Foo-Foo                                                    

                                                        That's more like it.

Dialogues

Showing 55-60 of 162 dialogue recordings

Enoch the Eunuch

The Tale of Sir Render

The Blur Effect

The Fourteeners

Into the Pipes

Top Dog